This Is Us: Coming Out as a Directioner

Demographically speaking, I am the anti-Directioner. At 25, what confused days I spent fawning over pre-pubescent boys are well behind me, or at least, they should be. But between catching a few One Direction tunes (“Tunes”? That’s how old I am.) on the radio and enjoying Morgan Spurlock’s documentarian work (yes, even Mansome), I unironically watched One Direction: This Is Us — in 3D. And fuck you all because I loved every minute of it.

It’s the prettiest, glossiest, most overtly-promotional documentary I’ve ever seen — and that’s including Bieber’s Never Say Never. The audience is granted an intimate, but contained-access look into the road lives and meteoric rise of a global music phenomenon. For what has become the holy grail of cross-continental success, One Direction is this generation’s Beatles. America’s pre-pubescent and menopausal audiences alike have flocked to the vocal talents of five incredibly hardworking and charming young men. The universal appeal of Harry, Niall, Liam, Louis and Zayn is easily definable: they’re talented, gel and jam well together, and kind of don’t give a shit about much else, lending them the badboy nonchalance that is teenage-girl Viagra, as captured by the hilariously sad fan reaction shots throughout.

This is Us neatly packages the boys’ Cinderella story, from their humble hometown beginnings, through their meteoric X-Factor rise, to conquering the world’s biggest arenas. It’s as superficial as the subjects of their pop-rock catalogue, but with enough edge to entertain even the most ardent I-can’t-believe-what-has-happened-to-music-these-days curmudgeon. They’re certainly not the Best Song(s) Ever, but the multiple full-length live performances — complete with inventive 3D use — are pretty fuckin’ fun. I dare you to keep your legs from bouncing in more than one direction.